Then there was the laugh, can't tell where that came from. It was a strange laugh. I was struggling to get her back wedged high enough so that the dish pan would fit nicely under her neck so that I could wash her hair. You have to imagine a person on their back, very close to you, because you are the only way they can move. I struggle. And then the laugh. The direct look at me, which are far more rare than a blue moon. And then the laugh.
Because of her automatic push to do the OPPOSITE of what you need, she fought me all the way. The thing is, if I needed her to straighten her arm, she will pull it closer. I think that she has always been that way. I watch people and those who fight the most against everything, seem to have the most to loose. Not in the major things in life, the little things. The things that make life more pleasant. Why do people do this? Is this something that she really took with her in this journey into ALZ? Can she choose this? Or is it so a part of her that she instinctively goes to what she knew. I know ALZ is different for almost everyone that goes through it, but I really wish that I could talk to someone else who is experiencing this. I would ask how much of their personality did they take with them for how long. So many questions. But it's spa day, and it's my turn, otherwise I could say, bitter party of one.
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